John Matthew Dean
November 21, 1993 - August 20, 1998
Memories of John Told by His Loved Ones
"While John was receiving radiation treatment in New York City each day John Taylor and Mom would explore the city, from the Balto statue in Central Park to the Natural History Museum. Of course John's favorite place was FAO Schwartz and we usually visited there everyday. One day while John was with Dad, after treatment in the morning, which took about 15 minutes, Daddy asked John what he wanted to do for the rest of the day. John of course wanted to go to the toy store. Jack replied by telling him he didn't k now how to get there or where it was. John's response was....'But Dad, I know, it's on 58th and 5th,' and off they went." ~ Lisa Dean, Mother
"I have some fond memories of John and me in New York when we were there for his treatments. He loved being in the skyscraper apartment where you could look out and see the Taxi Cabs in the street at night and the Fire trucks and ambulances zooming by. He loved going for a walk to FAO Schwartz the toy store where he would pick out a new toy or game. He loved his ride on the Cable Car to I think it was Roosevelt Island but Lisa could verify that. He wanted me and Grandpa to go but the day we walked over it wasn't running. He was disappointed that Pop-Pop couldn't get to go on it. He used to love playing on his bike in the house with Tricia and Taylor. They all had something to ride and he was the leader and I had to pretend there was a red light and stop them. When they stopped, then I would feed him a bite to eat from his plate and he got a big kick out that. He would get annoyed when Taylor wouldn't always follow the plan because she was little and wanted to do her own thing. Then when he got really sick in his last days, he used to love going for walks in his big red wagon that Pop-Pop bought him like the one they used to ride him in the Hospital at Danville." ~Dorothy Kutz, Grandmother
"John used to love going for rides in his red wagon in the hospital. We would take him down on the first floor to the fountain in the center of the lobby and they had buttons to put the fountains on. He was so sick but he never complained. He would just motion that he wanted to go for a ride. When he was in Philadelphia Children's Hospital he was very sick then too and he never complained. They used to have to pound on his back to get the mucous out of his chest and he never cried. He would just lay there and let them work on him. It was pitiful. He really enjoyed when he was home and Tricia used to come and play with him. He had company everyday and he seemed to really enjoy that." ~Dorothy Kutz, Grandmother
"In John’s short life, a mere 4 years and 9 months, he touched so many lives, many more than any of us will ever really know. He was the most courageous little boy most of us will ever know. I have many happy memories of John, some of those I’ll touch on now. I remember when I used to baby-sit for him when he was just a little over a year old and Tricia was a few months old. He loved to watch over her and couldn’t wait for her to be able to play with him. He loved going for walks with her and sharing the stroller or helping push it as he got bigger. When the two of them were toddlers, they were the best of buddies! They loved playing together and having sleepovers.
"Jo Lynne and Aimee used to help watch John when he was little. There were many times when he’d be hanging out with them and dressing up in clothes that were way too big for him, trying on hair bands and playing on their beds with the stuffed animals, listening to CDs or watching movies.
"John was like a baby brother to Joey. John, Joey and Jack would go mini-golfing religiously. Many times it would be John who beat Jack, or got the hole-in-one! John and Joey would also play Nintendo and computer games. John was so adept at using the computer for his young age; he had no problem completing any of the games, especially the Tonka trucks!
"John got a motorized Jeep one year that he and Joey would drive around. Once John got the hang of driving and maneuvering it himself, which didn’t take long at all, he would give Tricia rides! Yes, a three-year-old driving a Jeep better than some adults I know! They loved driving around in that. They just thought they were the coolest kids!
"John and his love of trains was so immense, Grandpa built him an extra platform just for his Thomas Trains! John had probably more than a hundred Thomas Trains and accessories and being the smartest three-year old you’d ever meet, he knew the names of every train and each piece of track and accessory and what they were used for. He and Tricia could play with those trains for hours if you let them. Just don’t let anyone mess any of them up, or they’d be in big trouble!
"John so enjoyed life. He certainly made every minute count! I remember when my children and I and Lisa and John went snow tubing! Tricia was about 15 months old, John a little over 2 years old. They had a blast! The faster they went down that hill, the better!
"There were many more memories, trips to the beach, Dorney Park and Hershey Park, and the circus and Sesame Street shows!
"Even in the sad times, there were happy memories. Less than a week before John died, I took my children including Tricia, to visit John in the hospital. I’ll never forget that moment as we walked over to the outside sitting area. My sister, Johnny and Jeannie were there with John. John was sitting in his favorite red wagon and as soon as he saw Tricia, a huge smile came across his face! He even managed to say her name. The happiness I felt at that moment would soon be overshadowed by the realization that this would probably be the last time they would see each other alive.
"The day John left us and went to Heaven was the most devastating day many of us will ever live through. The look of desperation on Lisa’s face as she held John in her arms will be etched in my mind forever. I thank God I was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my “buddy” and to be with him as he let go of his pain and suffering and went to God.
"All these memories will always be held close to my heart. I love John, my Godson, with all my heart. He’ll never be forgotten and he’s still very much a part of all our lives. I know John is in Heaven with God and watching over all of us. Someday we’ll all be reunited and the smiling faces will warm all of our hearts." ~Debbie Harenza, Aunt and Godmother
"I loved playing with John. We used to have so much fun even when we were fighting! If someone broke one of his toys’ he would get mad. He was the best kid ever! I love him!" ~Tricia Harenza, Cousin
"I mostly saw John at the office, when he came to visit Mom, the dentist. When he was a newborn, he'd come to work every day and I would get to hold him all the time (well almost all the time-I did do my work too, I swear!) As he got older he came "to work" less frequently, but still visited. When he was in pre-school he would come in and I'd make him hot chocolate and we'd play little games. His favorite seemed to be when he would collect all the toy insects from the "treasure chest" and throw them at me, one at a time. This escalated to the bug wars, where he would throw them all at once! Of course, there was a little shrieking and running around the corner of the room as I threw them back at him. We had a lot of fun! He was so intelligent and so cute! Once a patient was talking to him and he was being shy. The patient kept talking to him and asking him questions. He kept answering her with the same answer, but the she didn't understand what he said. So she just took what she thought his answer was and repeated it, saying how cute he was. What he actually said to her was 'I don't like you!' But he said it so fast it was hard to understand. It was pretty funny!" ~Marian Lemke, Friend
"The fire company lost a very special friend in August. Four and a half year old John Matthew Dean lost his battle with cancer."We first met John on this third birthday. As many little boys are, he was fascinated with fire trucks and his parents asked us to come to his birthday party. He was very excited that we were there, yet somewhat intimidated by the size of the trucks and the heavy gear we wear.
"Between his third and fourth birthday John was diagnosed with cancer. On his fourth birthday we again and had a great turnout for his birthday celebration.
"Unfortunately, John's cancer became progressively worse and, by summer, his health was deteriorating. John was able to ride the fire trucks with us on the 4th of July parade but by August, he was critical. Upon one of his returns from the hospital we visited him at home, bringing a memorable smile to his face. Shortly thereafter, John passed away.
"To honor John, his Mom and Dad wanted a fire truck in his funeral procession. Because most of our members had observed John's declining health, and many have small children, we had a large turnout for the funeral. All four of our vehicles were in the procession as we went from the funeral home to St. Jude's and then through Mountaintop to the cemetery.
"Many had said that there was not a dry eye in Mountaintop that morning. We were honored and privileged that we could be part of John's tribute. John had captured a special place in our hearts and we wanted to do what we could to help his family in their time of need." ~David Hourigan, Neighbor
"John Matthew was born on November 21, 1993 to my aunt and uncle. He was the first baby in my family with whom I had a close relationship from the beginning. It amazed me how smart he became as he was growing up. I remember an instance when I baby-sat him and he asked me if he could play one of his CD-ROM’s on the computer. I was about 12 and he was maybe three years old. I said to him, 'John, I don’t know how to work that stuff.' He looked right back at me and smiled, 'Just put the computer on, I know how to do it.' I remember that it was a Tonka game where you knock down old buildings and clear the land and then make new ones. He put the game on and started playing with the mouse. I never saw such a little kid know how to do such intelligent things. He even knew the names of every different kind of Tonka truck. Dump trucks, 'bulldozies,' steamrollers, 4x4’s, backhoes. I was shocked with his knowledge at such a young age.
"He learned to write his name before they taught him how to in school, he played with a little Pico station (a children’s version of Sega), and one of his favorite things to do, he played with his Thomas the Tank train set. He must have had at least 30-40 different wooden trains that he would play with on this interlocking wooden track. His mom would buy him different pieces of track all the time. He had bridges and tunnels, a windmill, a log loader, sheds, and roundhouse where all of the engines would spend the night. The thing that surprised me about all of this was that with the number of engines he had, and still too young to read, he knew the names of every single engine. He rattled them off like it was nothing. Thomas, Percy, James, Diesel. It was crazy.
"John has a little sister, Taylor. I remember one day, he was about 4 years old and she was about a year old. One day they were upstairs playing around and my aunt and uncle were home. All of a sudden, my aunt heard this loud thump. She ran to the stairs and saw Taylor at the bottom all fine and dandy and John at the top cracking up laughing. She yelled at him, 'Did you push your sister down the stairs?' He nodded while laughing. She told him, 'You know you’re not supposed to do that, she could have gotten hurt!” He smiled at his mother and happily said, 'But mommy, she rolled and rolled and rolled!' I will never forget that story. He was not only smart, but had that kind of sense of humor that everyone likes." ~Jo Lynne Harenza, Cousin
"While John was receiving radiation treatment in New York City each day John Taylor and Mom would explore the city, from the Balto statue in Central Park to the Natural History Museum. Of course John's favorite place was FAO Schwartz and we usually visited there everyday. One day while John was with Dad, after treatment in the morning, which took about 15 minutes, Daddy asked John what he wanted to do for the rest of the day. John of course wanted to go to the toy store. Jack replied by telling him he didn't k now how to get there or where it was. John's response was....'But Dad, I know, it's on 58th and 5th,' and off they went." ~ Lisa Dean, Mother
"I have some fond memories of John and me in New York when we were there for his treatments. He loved being in the skyscraper apartment where you could look out and see the Taxi Cabs in the street at night and the Fire trucks and ambulances zooming by. He loved going for a walk to FAO Schwartz the toy store where he would pick out a new toy or game. He loved his ride on the Cable Car to I think it was Roosevelt Island but Lisa could verify that. He wanted me and Grandpa to go but the day we walked over it wasn't running. He was disappointed that Pop-Pop couldn't get to go on it. He used to love playing on his bike in the house with Tricia and Taylor. They all had something to ride and he was the leader and I had to pretend there was a red light and stop them. When they stopped, then I would feed him a bite to eat from his plate and he got a big kick out that. He would get annoyed when Taylor wouldn't always follow the plan because she was little and wanted to do her own thing. Then when he got really sick in his last days, he used to love going for walks in his big red wagon that Pop-Pop bought him like the one they used to ride him in the Hospital at Danville." ~Dorothy Kutz, Grandmother
"John used to love going for rides in his red wagon in the hospital. We would take him down on the first floor to the fountain in the center of the lobby and they had buttons to put the fountains on. He was so sick but he never complained. He would just motion that he wanted to go for a ride. When he was in Philadelphia Children's Hospital he was very sick then too and he never complained. They used to have to pound on his back to get the mucous out of his chest and he never cried. He would just lay there and let them work on him. It was pitiful. He really enjoyed when he was home and Tricia used to come and play with him. He had company everyday and he seemed to really enjoy that." ~Dorothy Kutz, Grandmother
"In John’s short life, a mere 4 years and 9 months, he touched so many lives, many more than any of us will ever really know. He was the most courageous little boy most of us will ever know. I have many happy memories of John, some of those I’ll touch on now. I remember when I used to baby-sit for him when he was just a little over a year old and Tricia was a few months old. He loved to watch over her and couldn’t wait for her to be able to play with him. He loved going for walks with her and sharing the stroller or helping push it as he got bigger. When the two of them were toddlers, they were the best of buddies! They loved playing together and having sleepovers.
"Jo Lynne and Aimee used to help watch John when he was little. There were many times when he’d be hanging out with them and dressing up in clothes that were way too big for him, trying on hair bands and playing on their beds with the stuffed animals, listening to CDs or watching movies.
"John was like a baby brother to Joey. John, Joey and Jack would go mini-golfing religiously. Many times it would be John who beat Jack, or got the hole-in-one! John and Joey would also play Nintendo and computer games. John was so adept at using the computer for his young age; he had no problem completing any of the games, especially the Tonka trucks!
"John got a motorized Jeep one year that he and Joey would drive around. Once John got the hang of driving and maneuvering it himself, which didn’t take long at all, he would give Tricia rides! Yes, a three-year-old driving a Jeep better than some adults I know! They loved driving around in that. They just thought they were the coolest kids!
"John and his love of trains was so immense, Grandpa built him an extra platform just for his Thomas Trains! John had probably more than a hundred Thomas Trains and accessories and being the smartest three-year old you’d ever meet, he knew the names of every train and each piece of track and accessory and what they were used for. He and Tricia could play with those trains for hours if you let them. Just don’t let anyone mess any of them up, or they’d be in big trouble!
"John so enjoyed life. He certainly made every minute count! I remember when my children and I and Lisa and John went snow tubing! Tricia was about 15 months old, John a little over 2 years old. They had a blast! The faster they went down that hill, the better!
"There were many more memories, trips to the beach, Dorney Park and Hershey Park, and the circus and Sesame Street shows!
"Even in the sad times, there were happy memories. Less than a week before John died, I took my children including Tricia, to visit John in the hospital. I’ll never forget that moment as we walked over to the outside sitting area. My sister, Johnny and Jeannie were there with John. John was sitting in his favorite red wagon and as soon as he saw Tricia, a huge smile came across his face! He even managed to say her name. The happiness I felt at that moment would soon be overshadowed by the realization that this would probably be the last time they would see each other alive.
"The day John left us and went to Heaven was the most devastating day many of us will ever live through. The look of desperation on Lisa’s face as she held John in her arms will be etched in my mind forever. I thank God I was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my “buddy” and to be with him as he let go of his pain and suffering and went to God.
"All these memories will always be held close to my heart. I love John, my Godson, with all my heart. He’ll never be forgotten and he’s still very much a part of all our lives. I know John is in Heaven with God and watching over all of us. Someday we’ll all be reunited and the smiling faces will warm all of our hearts." ~Debbie Harenza, Aunt and Godmother
"I loved playing with John. We used to have so much fun even when we were fighting! If someone broke one of his toys’ he would get mad. He was the best kid ever! I love him!" ~Tricia Harenza, Cousin
"I mostly saw John at the office, when he came to visit Mom, the dentist. When he was a newborn, he'd come to work every day and I would get to hold him all the time (well almost all the time-I did do my work too, I swear!) As he got older he came "to work" less frequently, but still visited. When he was in pre-school he would come in and I'd make him hot chocolate and we'd play little games. His favorite seemed to be when he would collect all the toy insects from the "treasure chest" and throw them at me, one at a time. This escalated to the bug wars, where he would throw them all at once! Of course, there was a little shrieking and running around the corner of the room as I threw them back at him. We had a lot of fun! He was so intelligent and so cute! Once a patient was talking to him and he was being shy. The patient kept talking to him and asking him questions. He kept answering her with the same answer, but the she didn't understand what he said. So she just took what she thought his answer was and repeated it, saying how cute he was. What he actually said to her was 'I don't like you!' But he said it so fast it was hard to understand. It was pretty funny!" ~Marian Lemke, Friend
"The fire company lost a very special friend in August. Four and a half year old John Matthew Dean lost his battle with cancer."We first met John on this third birthday. As many little boys are, he was fascinated with fire trucks and his parents asked us to come to his birthday party. He was very excited that we were there, yet somewhat intimidated by the size of the trucks and the heavy gear we wear.
"Between his third and fourth birthday John was diagnosed with cancer. On his fourth birthday we again and had a great turnout for his birthday celebration.
"Unfortunately, John's cancer became progressively worse and, by summer, his health was deteriorating. John was able to ride the fire trucks with us on the 4th of July parade but by August, he was critical. Upon one of his returns from the hospital we visited him at home, bringing a memorable smile to his face. Shortly thereafter, John passed away.
"To honor John, his Mom and Dad wanted a fire truck in his funeral procession. Because most of our members had observed John's declining health, and many have small children, we had a large turnout for the funeral. All four of our vehicles were in the procession as we went from the funeral home to St. Jude's and then through Mountaintop to the cemetery.
"Many had said that there was not a dry eye in Mountaintop that morning. We were honored and privileged that we could be part of John's tribute. John had captured a special place in our hearts and we wanted to do what we could to help his family in their time of need." ~David Hourigan, Neighbor
"John Matthew was born on November 21, 1993 to my aunt and uncle. He was the first baby in my family with whom I had a close relationship from the beginning. It amazed me how smart he became as he was growing up. I remember an instance when I baby-sat him and he asked me if he could play one of his CD-ROM’s on the computer. I was about 12 and he was maybe three years old. I said to him, 'John, I don’t know how to work that stuff.' He looked right back at me and smiled, 'Just put the computer on, I know how to do it.' I remember that it was a Tonka game where you knock down old buildings and clear the land and then make new ones. He put the game on and started playing with the mouse. I never saw such a little kid know how to do such intelligent things. He even knew the names of every different kind of Tonka truck. Dump trucks, 'bulldozies,' steamrollers, 4x4’s, backhoes. I was shocked with his knowledge at such a young age.
"He learned to write his name before they taught him how to in school, he played with a little Pico station (a children’s version of Sega), and one of his favorite things to do, he played with his Thomas the Tank train set. He must have had at least 30-40 different wooden trains that he would play with on this interlocking wooden track. His mom would buy him different pieces of track all the time. He had bridges and tunnels, a windmill, a log loader, sheds, and roundhouse where all of the engines would spend the night. The thing that surprised me about all of this was that with the number of engines he had, and still too young to read, he knew the names of every single engine. He rattled them off like it was nothing. Thomas, Percy, James, Diesel. It was crazy.
"John has a little sister, Taylor. I remember one day, he was about 4 years old and she was about a year old. One day they were upstairs playing around and my aunt and uncle were home. All of a sudden, my aunt heard this loud thump. She ran to the stairs and saw Taylor at the bottom all fine and dandy and John at the top cracking up laughing. She yelled at him, 'Did you push your sister down the stairs?' He nodded while laughing. She told him, 'You know you’re not supposed to do that, she could have gotten hurt!” He smiled at his mother and happily said, 'But mommy, she rolled and rolled and rolled!' I will never forget that story. He was not only smart, but had that kind of sense of humor that everyone likes." ~Jo Lynne Harenza, Cousin